Seeking my new angel

I remember in 9th grade arriving home from an away basketball game against Chaska. I to the living room where my sister Brittany all of a sudden threw a blanket off her lap and a really ugly dog jumped down and greeted me. Eventually after five minutes of shock and awe I realized that she was our new family dog. I was actually kind of mad because I thought she was ugly and I wasn’t over the last dog. I obviously grew to love her dearly and actually thought she was kind of cute.

Throughout the first couple years she kept me in shape by always planning and executing an escape route out of my house. I would chase her for at minimum 45 minutes all around our neighborhood. I hated her for it, but to Lucy it was all fun and games. Now looking back on it, I wouldn’t change any of it because at that point in Lucy’s life running was what she loved and I would do anything to make my dog happy.

Thankfully that was short lived. She grew fat and lazy and no longer cared to run.

In recent years she developed bumps and growths, so we knew her time was coming to an end soon. It wasn’t until this summer when it really hit me; I went to visit my mom and when I went to pet Lucy I could easily feel her ribcage. Which was abnormal for my fat little Lu Lu. Then I went home last Saturday and the only dog that greeted me at the door was my sister’s pup that mom was babysitting. It kind of scared me, but I walked around the corner and there she was sprawled out on the couch just looking at me. That was the moment I knew it was time to put her down. Lucy ALWAYS greeted and ALWAYS barked up a storm when anyone passed through my mom’s doorway. You could tell that she really did not feel well and as much as it hurt to even think about I knew we had to put her down soon. Special and weird shout out to my mom for taking initiative and taking her into the Vet. I would not have been able to bring her in myself. So thank you mom for being strong and bringing her in, but also staying strong the whole day that I spent with you there after. Although not being able to say goodbye is killing me right now.

The past couple days without Lucy have been really hard on all of us. Today, I went to mom’s for the first time since she passed and I couldn’t help but cry. When you have a dog for nine years you just get so used to having it around. You drop food on the ground and there is no dog to come pick it up, no dog that greets you at the door, no dog there to cuddle with you while watching the television, or no dog to let out to go potty. (Today my mom said “before we go to Target I have to let out Lucy” then had the harsh realization that she is gone.) This is something that we all have to get used to now, something that may seem tedious to some, but is really hard on us. We all love Lucy so dearly no matter how much of a little brat she was.

Dogs truly become apart of your family. The past nine years with Lucy has been one huge blessing. I will forever thank God for putting her in my life.

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Knowing that she is not hurting any more is the only thing getting me through this. Rest in peace Lu Lu I will miss your loud snoring, your cute begging face, you greeting me at the door, and most of all your cuddles. Can’t wait to be with you again one day.

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Seeking Support (Again)

Throughout my life I have always believed the phrase “everything Happens for a reason.” Today as I sat in the University Center on my phone waiting for the lunch lines to go down, something caught my eye. You know when you have to do a double take because something catches your attention? As I looked at my phone in the very slight peripherial vision that I have I saw the Pre-Health Society had a table set up in The Falls room right outside our cafeteria. Some of you might be like pshhh, why did you have to do a double take? Right when I noticed who the group was and what they were doing I had a weird feeling, thats why. I cannot really describe this feeling but I knew that I was supposed to do something about this. The Pre-Health Society is the group that hands out the Dan’s Bandanas, if you remember from my other blog post Seeking Support. (if you have not read it.. go do it now)

After I posted that blog I wore the bandana on my backpack, but some how it fell off and I was never able to find it.  So I took advantage of this opportunity and went to the table the Pre-Healthy Society had set up and grabbed a new one. It is important to me to have one displayed because I want people to know that they are not alone and that I am hear to listen if need be.

After lunch, I went to use a computer at the library to do some homework. I pulled up an email about someone commenting on my Seeking Support blog post. Now, this does not really ever happen. People normally do not comment on my blog post, which is fine. And since I have not really been posting much, there has not been much activity on this blog. So today out of all days I had someone ask me about Dan’s Bandana Project.

That makes two signs in one day having to do with Dan’s Bandana Project. So, because of the signs and this is time of year when depression spikes, I felt compelled to once again write about this wonderful project that my University has to offer. Even if you do not go to my University, you are still included in this. Dan’s Bandana project is for everyone everywhere.

With that, I just want to say, that if you are having a hard time with anything please talk to someone about it. It does not necessarily have to be me, but I am here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. As Dan’s pledge states “I will be accepting. I will be honest.” What ever you may say to me will be kept. I do not and will never go and tell other people what you confided in me. That’s a promise.

For those of you who go to UW-River Falls, counseling is free! Here is the address and phone number:
UWRF Counseling services: 211 Hagestad Hall
For an appointment: call 715-425-3884

Here are some websites you can visit:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depresssion-support

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home

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“You are way too important to feel alone today”

Seeking Model 7045

Liz Edd: Model 7045


This past Sunday I participated in Rocco Altobelli Fashion Awards, otherwise known as RAFA. I was a model for two amazingly talented young women who work at the Roseville, Minnesota location. Rachel Heimerdinger (love that last name) was my stylist and Bailey Zaun was the colorist.

How this came to be:

I heard about RAFA through one of my best friends. Being the extremely audacious person I am, I sent in a picture of my hair to the Woodbury Rocco Altobelli. I told them what I was willing to do with my hair, which was basically do not shave half my head. One of their most experienced colorist responded. She was shocked that I wanted to do the show because “my natural hair is beyond gorgeous.” I did not think twice about it. I really wanted a change anyway, and this was the perfect way to do just that. There was some people who ended up quitting at the Woodbury location, so I was moved to Roseville. Which to be honest, at first I was super upset about because I wanted to be at the same salon as my best friend. I kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason, and boy does it. The girls at Roseville are AWESOME!

Rocco Altobelli:

A week before the show I donated about a little over 10 inches of hair. Bailey then bleached my hair. Which she told me she has never used so much bleach in someones hair before. That is how thick my hair is. After a long and itchy process My hair was now ten inches shorted and 12 shades lighter.

The next Saturday Bailey put color into my hair and Rachel cut and shaved it just how she wanted. The theme of the Roseville salon was “Day of the Dead.” The Sunday morning of the show all they did was style and prep me for judging and the runway.

RAFA 2014 was located at The Depot in downtown Minneapolis.

Once the models arrived at The Depot we had to get ready for judging. We did as so, then they made an announcement stating that the judges were top of the line hair professionals from all around the world. Talk about nerve-racking. Judging consists of models lined up about a foot and a half apart. Just standing there with a straight face. Which for those who know me know that this is unfortunate because I have a “resting bitch face.” I cannot imagine what the judges thought of me. The judges walk around and are aloud to comb through your hair if they wanted. After judging we were taught how to walk on the runway. We ran through it a few times then the show began. DON DON DOOOOOONN. Just kidding. The show went great! My first time out on a runway as you can imagine, was extremely nerve-racking, but I loved every minute of it. Walking around showing off my new look to hundreds of people was a great feeling. This is definitely something I want to keep doing. We will see if I get any where with this. But for now, I need to focus on school.

Here is the ever so wanted before and after picture:

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The professional pictures from the show has not been posted yet, but I did find this one of Facebook. It is of me on the runway.

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I would just like to thank everyone who helped make this happen! I had an absolute blast and it was a truly great experience.

If anyone is looking for a profession stylist or colorist contact the Roseville Rocco Altobelli!
Here is the link!  http://www.roccoaltobelli.com/salons/index.htm

Seeking insights of the single life

lizz

I am about to be a super senior at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. Which clearly means I have been in college for the past four years. Have I had a boyfriend within those four years? No. Why am I writing about this? It’s simple. I am getting sick and tired of hearing “why don’t you have a boyfriend” which then leads to “what’s wrong with you?” Or “Are you a lesbian?” 

Some of my friends that I have met in recent years are taken back when they find out I have not had a boyfriend in college. Not because I am this gorgeous creature or anything, but because they do not see how I can be “alone” for that long. They express to me their concern. Telling me that I should get a boyfriend because maybe just maybe I’ll feel better about myself.

I do not need a boyfriend to feel better about myself. When I am down, and I do need some kind of pick me up I usually either write a blog, play volleyball, volunteer, or in the school year I study. Basically, I strive to be a better person. That is what makes me feel better.  

I am not saying I am totally against having a boyfriend right now, because I am not. I am saying I do not need a significant other to get me through college like some of my friends and our generation seem to believe.

This is why I am writing this blog, because I want every girl, woman, and teen, to know that although you see many people around you in a relationship, you do not need to be in one to make you happy or help you get through college. I believe it is crucial for teenagers and young adults to learn about themselves before investing all of their time and energy into another person. College is a place where you learn a lot about yourself. For most, it’s the first time out of their guardian’s households and semi on their own. Which makes this time essential for students and young adults to start to experience the world without help of an adult. From my experience being a college student and not relying on someone else, it has forced me to gain vital skills that I now use in my everyday life.

Not having a boyfriend has made me stronger. Some of my insecurities have faded which has made me be a better leader. A quality that I can bring into my future career-which hopefully is working for Ellen DeGeneres. This past semester when all my friends were either with their boyfriends or obsessing over boys, I simultaneously worked three jobs, went to school full time, was the co-president of my university’s women’s club volleyball team, played on that team, all the while maintaining really good grades. I evidently did not have time for a boyfriend. I barely had time to spend with my best friend in the whole world, which has hurt our friendship.

I am struggling putting how exactly I feel into words to really explain to you, my readers, why I wanted to write this. (Besides the reasoning as to why I do not have a boyfriend.)

My outlook on love is completely different from a lot of people who have a significant other, because I have had to figure out how to reach happiness all on my own. For those who know me well know that reaching this ‘happiness’ has been a difficult journey. Not because I have not had a boyfriend, but because of some personal reasons. To find happiness I went off on my own and explored the world. I had never felt so happy in my life. Studying abroad in Scotland was by far my best decision ever. Going out completely on my own traveling from country to country is such an amazing indescribable feeling.

My apologies, I got off topic. I just really love Scotland and the time I studied abroad.

Maybe having a boyfriend, will make me a little happier, but I do not need one to get through college. I have learned so many things about myself from being single throughout college. Not only that, I have grown this independence that I value now, but will especially value in my future.

We see all these relationships happening in the media between celebrities and characters on TV shows. Watching these relationships and break-ups on TV portrays this stigma that people, especially my age, when single are unhappy. When in fact this is not true at all. Personally, some of the happiest moments in my life is when I was completely alone traveling the world. Just know that when you see these couples on TV it is most likely fake. Don’t feel that you need to be with someone at all times. Try being single, you won’t have anything holding you back from living your dreams.

There are those people out there that go from boyfriend to boyfriend (or whatever gender you prefer) then there are people like me who, deny guys because I like the single life (maybe a little too much). But from what I have learned and the skills I have gained from being single throughout college will help me more in the future than going from boyfriend to boyfriend.

This is simply who I am.

I once saw a quote that went something like this, I changed it up a bit to fit me…
I am not hot nor gorgeous. I do not have an amazing body or completely flat stomach. I am far from being a model, but I’m me. I love food, I have curves, I have scars both physical and emotional, I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, and some hate me. I have done good, I have done bad. I hate wearing jeans so I usually only wear athletic clothes. I can be random and crazy. I do not pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or hate me. I won’t change. And if I love you, I love you with all that I have. I make no apologies for who I am.

 

 

Blah, that was not how I necessarily wanted this blog to turn out. But I just sat down and wrote. I feel like it’s a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Don’t get me wrong, I have been on dates and what not, I have just never been asked to be someone’s girlfriend in college. I believe everything happens for a reason so being single has been for the better. I hope you at least kind of get what I wanted to write.

-The Seeker

Seeking Free Products?

There are so many scams out there trying to get people to do this, click here, sign this to get “free” products. The only thing you get for free is a virus and cookies and I am not talking about the kind you eat. Im talking the kind that tracks every little thing you do on your computer.

Well, I have found a website that you actually get free products and not a virus!

This website is calls Influenster. Influenster is “a community of trendsetters, social media masterminds, and educated consumers who live to give opinions of products and experiences.” So basically once you are invited by someone who is already a member, you have to do certain tasks to up your “impact score.” In order to do so, you have to take surveys about yourself (super easy), review products you have already used, ask questions about products you have not used, write a blog or two, and to up your score even more you can make a Youtube video. How easy is that?! Once they see your impact score increase Influenster could include you in a “VoxBox” program, which is receiving free products. All Influenster asks in return is to test, review, and share your opinion on the products they send you VIA your friends and followers on social media platforms.

As for what kind of free products you get, it depends on what Badge you are working on. I just received the Spring VoxBox from the Beauty Queen badge. I received a bunch a beauty products like mascara and french glue on nails. Some of the other badges that I am personally going for is Jet-setter, Fashionista, Six-Pack, and High Spirits. 

I promise you this is not a scam, its simply using social media to share your opinions on products.

If you would like to join all I need is your email address!

Here is a link to their website. Enjoy!
http://www.influenster.com/about

<a href=”http://www.influenster.com/profile/lizedd”><img src=”http://widget.influenster.com/6a2df8cfc1cbff0720c50228535c8c86.png”></a&gt;

Seeking Moments From Studying Abroad and Ellen DeGeneres

You know you’ve studied abroad when.. told by my best friend, Ellen DeGeneres.

 

1.) You have met some of the most crazy cab/taxi drivers ever.

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2.) Culture shock and jet lag hits you, and you have never felt anything like it before.

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3.) You have tried to squeeze all your friends into a selfie at every big monument you see.

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4.) You take your own personal selfie and all the townies look at you funny so your like…

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5.) You saw so much art everywhere. No matter where you went. On the streets, in the countless museums, the shops, and even in the pubs! 

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6.) You traveled between countries when abroad and you lost one of your friends..

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7.) You went to a club and was unsure how they danced so you stuck to this simple dance move.
(Believe it or not, not all clubs on this planet just grind like America does.)

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8.) The food is so different, yet fantastic so you eat a ton of food although you know that its bad for you. Then you go back to America and you crave food that America does not have.

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9.) You took a picture with a British boy and those red telephone booths…

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10.) You had many moments like this laughing nonstop with your new friends. Sometimes you didn’t even know what you were laughing at, but you were so happy that you just couldn’t stop.

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11.) This is relevant to my trip.. There is many places to hide in the palace we stayed in so we constantly scared each other.

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12.) This is how you felt when having to come back to America.

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13.) Then you calculate how much you just spent…

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14.) You see your friends for the first time, you tell them how amazing the trip was and they’re like…  but all you can do is cry because you want to go back. 

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15.) Your friends say this.. but your like, no, I just studied abroad.

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16.) Then you start telling your friends all the millions of stories and they feel like this.

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..or they do this.

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So then your like..

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17.) Your friends or family has asked you about one or more of the pictures you posted to Facebook…

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and again you’re like…

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They just don’t understand.

18.) You just realized that you are not of legal drinking age anymore and you have a awkward amount of time till you can go to the pubs.. I mean bars.

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Well, that’s all I have for you guys. I hope you enjoyed my blog this week. If you have not studied abroad before I HIGHLY recommend it! It might be expensive, but it is completely 100% worth it. Trust me.

Seeking Support.

Lately, I have noticed many people in my life, including me, have been struggling with various different things. I have been wanting to blog about something like this for a long time, but during that time I was unable to put how I felt into words. It wasn’t until last week when I attended a health and wellness fair at my university, that I found the perfect set of words. These set of words forms a pledge. This pledge is what I now live by. This pledge is something that I want everyone to know about. I want everyone to be aware of what’s out there. The pledge states:

I will listen if you need to talk to someone
I will talk to someone if I need to be listened to.
I will help you find a counselor
when you need more than listening.
I will find a counselor when I need more than to be listened to.

I will be accepting.
I will be honest.
I will see a person in need of support.

With this pledge,
I am declaring support for those suffering with
depression and/or anxiety.
You can talk with me. I want to help.
You are way too important to feel alone today. 

This pledge is called “Dan’s Bandana Project.” It is a UWRF(University of Wisconsin-River Falls) Foundation outreach campaign to promote a supportive environment for students suffering with symptoms of depression and anxiety, by empowering fellow students as advocates for their wellbeing.

I signed the pledge and received a bandana. Which I now have tied to my backpack. If you see me or any other person with this white bandana on campus do not be afraid to go up to them and ask for help. Whether it be asking them just to listen or helping you find a councilor. For those of you who do not know me and you go to my University or you just so happened to stumble upon my blog, do not be afraid to contact me. I’m just like you. I am not any more talented, any more skilled, any smarter, stronger, faster, or better. I put my pants on one leg at a time. So you know that I am human, and that when I say I am here to help you I really mean it. 

Going through depression and/or anxiety alone can be one of the hardest things you will ever go through, but it is something you do not have to go through alone. I am here for you. I will listen. Reaching out for help can be hard. There are opportunities out there for you to get better. Dan’s Bandana Project is just one of them. If you do not attend my University, but feel compelled to get help here are some links that might help you.

Self-Help and Coping Tips to Overcome Depression
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm

How to Help Someone Who’s Depressed
http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20452135,00.html

How Can I Get Help for Depression?
http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/help-for-depression#TreatmentFacts



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Seeking Trust,

This week, I want to tell you a little about why I now have trust issues.

Here’s the story:

Last Friday my sister wanted to try spray tanning since our older sister’s wedding is in a month. We casually strolled into the salon and ask the man working a few questions about spray tanning. He then tells us it is “free tan Friday”  and had us fill out a form with questions about my skin type. After my sister and I were done, my sister asked if I was going to do spray tanning or a bed. I told her I was leaning more towards a bed. After all, I have never spray tanned before, and I wanted to try their best tanning bed since it was free. The guy working overheard and asked “wait, you want to do a bed?” I told him I didn’t really knew what I wanted to do, and by the time he went and cleaned a couple beds and came back I would have my answer. Being the indecisive person I am when it comes to things like this, he came back and I still could not decide on what I wanted to do. He then said “Try spray tanning, TRUST ME.” He was so confident. He punched “Double clear” into the machine and off I went into the machine awkwardly posing for this thing to spray me. For those of you who were like me and had no idea what “double clear” meant, it basically is a double coat of tanner, then the clear is just that it wont show up right away. It gradually darkens. We left the tanning salon and went about our day getting ready for my sisters bridal shower. The next day I woke up and didn’t think too much when I looked in the mirror. I am not sure if it was because I have bad eyes or the lighting at my moms place is bad, but I definitely did not realize how I truly looked. Family and friends started to arrive to my sisters bridal shower they all commented on how “tan” I looked, and again I thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until a few days later when I was this picture and almost peed myself of embarrassment. 

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I hope you can guess which one is me. 

This is now why I have trust issues. The guy at the salon said “TRUST ME” Trust you to turn me into a carrot? or what looks like the skin on a leather couch? Everytime I look at this picture, I laugh. How could I have gotten that dark and not realized it. I seriously look like super cooked carrots. Yuck!

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating about having trust issues, but it is still a good story and its all in good humor.

Spray tanning is not for me. Not just because of how dark/orange I got, but it did not get evenly distributed on my skin. The only reason why I did it is because it was free.. thank goodness. I do not want to pay to look like that! 

I went to Darque Tan. It is a very nice place and I would suggest it to anyone. I do not want you to think of this place as bad and to never go there, because there was SO many people getting spray tans while I was there. So clearly, there are a lot of customers happy with spray tanning there. Just because I had a bad experience doesn’t mean you will too.

Here is a link to their page. As of today 4/15/14 there is a coupon on their homepage for a $5 spray tan session! 

http://www.darquetan.com/index.php

 

Seeking Pennies

While at my gate waiting for the first plane I was casually looking around when I made awkward eye contact with an older women who was just getting to the seating area. She mumbled “hi.” I smiled and said “Hey, how are you?” She then went on to tell me about where she is going and why. I told her that I was about to go to a volleyball tournament in Reno, Nevada. She perked up a little and asked if I do personal affirmations. I was a bit confused and asked her to explain. She said she was reading a book called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. She went on and said that I need to say personal affirmations every morning when I wake up. Saying things like “I am beautiful” “I will succeed” She then took out the book because she wanted me to read a part of it. As she opened the book she found a penny in it. She immediately started to tear up a little. I was a little worried for a second. She told me “the more something comes up in your life them more it is meant for it to be there. Last week I was telling a friend how I see pennies a lot. She then told me that pennies are heaven sent. Every time a penny randomly shows up in your life that means you have an angel with you. I just opened this book now and I found a penny. Darling, there is an angel with you.” I sat there with the chills as she handed me the book to read. I only read a few pages, but the pages that I did read made me feel better about myself. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. I told her that I have been struggling with every aspect of my life right now, and that I already knew this tournament was going to be challenging both mentally and physically. Without hesitation she said “this must be your angel” and she handed me the penny. “God knows you are struggling so he sent you an angel. Know that when you are struggling there is an angel with you. You are beautiful”

Who is this angel?! I have been fortunate enough to not have anybody close to me die. So knowing I have an angel with me brings brightness to my life, but who is it? I guess this angel doesn’t have to be someone that was close to me, but I still do not know who it could be. Whoever you are, I thank you.

For those of you who a skeptical, a few days later after I received this angel, a couple teammates and I were in a car crash. With how fast the other car rear ended us, we are lucky that we did not sustain any major injuries. I believe that the angel was with us.

Being the curious person I am I looked up this phenomenon on the internet and I found this poem on a lot of different websites.

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I don’t know about you, but I rather frequently see a penny lying on the ground. I usually ignore it and walk away, after all its only a penny, but now I will never look at another random penny the same way again. 

Seeking pennies and angels. 

Seeking Time

 

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This weeks blog challenge/suggestion was to write about where you were 1, 3, or 5 years ago and how you have changed since then. I thought about it for a little bit, then I realized I am way different than I was all those years ago. Heck, I am different than I was last month. This question made me think about how an individual can change so much in ones life. I am at the point in my life where everything around me is constantly changing, therefore I am too. What do I mean by this? Things, people, relationships, ideas on what I want to do with my life, my outlook on life, are just some of the things that are changing constantly in my life. I think this is the main reason why I am struggling as hard as I am right now. I do not have that comfort of knowing everything is going to be okay. I do not have the comfort that a month from now I will be okay.

One year ago I was getting ready to set out on what was going to be the biggest and best adventure of my life. I had no idea how much those two months in Scotland was going to change me. I do not think I can even begin to explain how much it did. Friends and family might not see it, but at least I see it in myself.

I don’t know if I even want to get into thinking about how I was three or five years ago because it will bring up a lot of memories I do not want to think about. Yet, it will also bring a lot of great ones. But are those memories worth thinking about again? I just know for a fact I am so different than I was in high school or a freshmen in college. One thing I know for sure, I know that I would still be playing volleyball. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be traveling to Reno, NV to play in a national tournament. Which is where I am going to end. I have to go to class for two and a half hours, then volleyball practice, then bed, the FLYING TO RENO! I cannot be any more excited! 

If you would like to follow every minute (kind of) of me at nationals follow me on Twitter at the handle @Liz_Edd I will be tweeting away the whole time I am there so my followers know exactly what I am doing and how my team is doing!

 

This weeks image is a sunset and a tree. The sunset represents each day we go through and the tree represents our life and how much we grow.