Seeking Support.

Lately, I have noticed many people in my life, including me, have been struggling with various different things. I have been wanting to blog about something like this for a long time, but during that time I was unable to put how I felt into words. It wasn’t until last week when I attended a health and wellness fair at my university, that I found the perfect set of words. These set of words forms a pledge. This pledge is what I now live by. This pledge is something that I want everyone to know about. I want everyone to be aware of what’s out there. The pledge states:

I will listen if you need to talk to someone
I will talk to someone if I need to be listened to.
I will help you find a counselor
when you need more than listening.
I will find a counselor when I need more than to be listened to.

I will be accepting.
I will be honest.
I will see a person in need of support.

With this pledge,
I am declaring support for those suffering with
depression and/or anxiety.
You can talk with me. I want to help.
You are way too important to feel alone today. 

This pledge is called “Dan’s Bandana Project.” It is a UWRF(University of Wisconsin-River Falls) Foundation outreach campaign to promote a supportive environment for students suffering with symptoms of depression and anxiety, by empowering fellow students as advocates for their wellbeing.

I signed the pledge and received a bandana. Which I now have tied to my backpack. If you see me or any other person with this white bandana on campus do not be afraid to go up to them and ask for help. Whether it be asking them just to listen or helping you find a councilor. For those of you who do not know me and you go to my University or you just so happened to stumble upon my blog, do not be afraid to contact me. I’m just like you. I am not any more talented, any more skilled, any smarter, stronger, faster, or better. I put my pants on one leg at a time. So you know that I am human, and that when I say I am here to help you I really mean it. 

Going through depression and/or anxiety alone can be one of the hardest things you will ever go through, but it is something you do not have to go through alone. I am here for you. I will listen. Reaching out for help can be hard. There are opportunities out there for you to get better. Dan’s Bandana Project is just one of them. If you do not attend my University, but feel compelled to get help here are some links that might help you.

Self-Help and Coping Tips to Overcome Depression

How to Help Someone Who’s Depressed,,20452135,00.html

How Can I Get Help for Depression?




Seeking Trust,

This week, I want to tell you a little about why I now have trust issues.

Here’s the story:

Last Friday my sister wanted to try spray tanning since our older sister’s wedding is in a month. We casually strolled into the salon and ask the man working a few questions about spray tanning. He then tells us it is “free tan Friday”  and had us fill out a form with questions about my skin type. After my sister and I were done, my sister asked if I was going to do spray tanning or a bed. I told her I was leaning more towards a bed. After all, I have never spray tanned before, and I wanted to try their best tanning bed since it was free. The guy working overheard and asked “wait, you want to do a bed?” I told him I didn’t really knew what I wanted to do, and by the time he went and cleaned a couple beds and came back I would have my answer. Being the indecisive person I am when it comes to things like this, he came back and I still could not decide on what I wanted to do. He then said “Try spray tanning, TRUST ME.” He was so confident. He punched “Double clear” into the machine and off I went into the machine awkwardly posing for this thing to spray me. For those of you who were like me and had no idea what “double clear” meant, it basically is a double coat of tanner, then the clear is just that it wont show up right away. It gradually darkens. We left the tanning salon and went about our day getting ready for my sisters bridal shower. The next day I woke up and didn’t think too much when I looked in the mirror. I am not sure if it was because I have bad eyes or the lighting at my moms place is bad, but I definitely did not realize how I truly looked. Family and friends started to arrive to my sisters bridal shower they all commented on how “tan” I looked, and again I thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until a few days later when I was this picture and almost peed myself of embarrassment. 


I hope you can guess which one is me. 

This is now why I have trust issues. The guy at the salon said “TRUST ME” Trust you to turn me into a carrot? or what looks like the skin on a leather couch? Everytime I look at this picture, I laugh. How could I have gotten that dark and not realized it. I seriously look like super cooked carrots. Yuck!

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating about having trust issues, but it is still a good story and its all in good humor.

Spray tanning is not for me. Not just because of how dark/orange I got, but it did not get evenly distributed on my skin. The only reason why I did it is because it was free.. thank goodness. I do not want to pay to look like that! 

I went to Darque Tan. It is a very nice place and I would suggest it to anyone. I do not want you to think of this place as bad and to never go there, because there was SO many people getting spray tans while I was there. So clearly, there are a lot of customers happy with spray tanning there. Just because I had a bad experience doesn’t mean you will too.

Here is a link to their page. As of today 4/15/14 there is a coupon on their homepage for a $5 spray tan session!


Seeking Pennies

While at my gate waiting for the first plane I was casually looking around when I made awkward eye contact with an older women who was just getting to the seating area. She mumbled “hi.” I smiled and said “Hey, how are you?” She then went on to tell me about where she is going and why. I told her that I was about to go to a volleyball tournament in Reno, Nevada. She perked up a little and asked if I do personal affirmations. I was a bit confused and asked her to explain. She said she was reading a book called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. She went on and said that I need to say personal affirmations every morning when I wake up. Saying things like “I am beautiful” “I will succeed” She then took out the book because she wanted me to read a part of it. As she opened the book she found a penny in it. She immediately started to tear up a little. I was a little worried for a second. She told me “the more something comes up in your life them more it is meant for it to be there. Last week I was telling a friend how I see pennies a lot. She then told me that pennies are heaven sent. Every time a penny randomly shows up in your life that means you have an angel with you. I just opened this book now and I found a penny. Darling, there is an angel with you.” I sat there with the chills as she handed me the book to read. I only read a few pages, but the pages that I did read made me feel better about myself. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. I told her that I have been struggling with every aspect of my life right now, and that I already knew this tournament was going to be challenging both mentally and physically. Without hesitation she said “this must be your angel” and she handed me the penny. “God knows you are struggling so he sent you an angel. Know that when you are struggling there is an angel with you. You are beautiful”

Who is this angel?! I have been fortunate enough to not have anybody close to me die. So knowing I have an angel with me brings brightness to my life, but who is it? I guess this angel doesn’t have to be someone that was close to me, but I still do not know who it could be. Whoever you are, I thank you.

For those of you who a skeptical, a few days later after I received this angel, a couple teammates and I were in a car crash. With how fast the other car rear ended us, we are lucky that we did not sustain any major injuries. I believe that the angel was with us.

Being the curious person I am I looked up this phenomenon on the internet and I found this poem on a lot of different websites.


I don’t know about you, but I rather frequently see a penny lying on the ground. I usually ignore it and walk away, after all its only a penny, but now I will never look at another random penny the same way again. 

Seeking pennies and angels.